MCCAIN CAMPAIGN MANAGER RICK DAVIS CONFERS WITH REPUBLICAN NOMINEE

DAVIS: "It's got to work! We accuse Obama of being too confident, too thoughtful and too professorial to be president.

McCAIN: "But, isn't that what it takes to be president, Rick?"

DAVIS: "You're right... I'll get Corsi's "Obama Nation" to do our work..."

"Students, how can I teach you what the equivalent of Pi is?.. Well, let me show you..."

ALASKA SENATOR TED STEVENS INDICTED ON 7 COUNTS

STEVENS: "It's gonna be fine, Beth."

BETH: "Yeah, great, that's reassuring.. Why should I believe you, Dad? You said the Internet was a bunch of tubes. You tried to build a 'bridge to nowhere'. You accepted bribes. Why should I think it's going to be okay?"

STEVENS: "Because I secretly built a bridge to the Internet and we'll escape through all the tubes that'll take us to Dubai..."

"Lord? The rest of my friends have all moved on and gotten apartments. I know you have a plan for me, I'd just like to feel like I'm not crazy for a few minutes, okay?"

"This is where they tried to assassinate me... And over there at the rose bushes, I was nearly killed... And at the playset, I was nearly blown up in pieces..."

"I believe McCain stands for change... I believe McCain stands for change..."

Sunni! Sunni! Sunni! Catch all the thrilling off-road excitement of Extremist Sports! Watch the Shiite, Kurds and Sunnis reach speeds of 40mph as they scratch and claw their way out of Pakistan! The X-Games Truck Rally Blow-Out! Extremist Sports has never been dangerouser!

OLD YELLER

"The only color-based issue I have is my teeth!"

Here we see Margaret Quinn realizing that Rush Limbaugh lied to her.