The temperature at Tiger Woods' house.

Here we see trained al Qaeda suicide bombers demonstrating the correct way to explode your underpants.

SUPREME COURT RULES CORPORATIONS ARE PERSONS

...And the new senator from the great state of Monsanto applauded the decision.

UNDERPANTS UNDERMINED U.S. SECURITY

A heroic passenger aboard Flight 253 tackled a terrorist and put out the fire in his underpants... Where was this guy when Tiger needed him?

Stone Cold Henge

"I don't even bother with shoes when I fly anymore."

NEW AIRPORT BODY SCANNERS REVEAL THINGS...

Joan Rivers went through a body scanner in Costa Rica. What technology! The agents could see her old face!

The former senator of Minnesota was scanned and TSA personnel found 27 more votes for Al Franken.

Ann Coulter went through airport screening and agents discovered she's circumcised.

Sarah Palin had to go through the airport body scanner. It's true, there is a big stick up her ass.

Ryan Seacreast was put in a body scanner and you could actually see "the woman inside the man".

Donald Trump went through the full body scanner and that thing on his head? - It's pregnant.

Ex-governor Blagojevich passed through the scanner and you could see on the monitor that his head was up his own ass.

Octomom went through the device and agents found three more kids.

Keith Richards was scanned and TSA agents found no drugs, no internal organs, no bones..

Dick Cheney was body-scanned at the airport. On the monitor, you could see from head to toe - all asshole.

MUMIA ABU-JAMAL

"It REALLY burns when I pee..."

PAT ROBERTSON SAID HAITIAN PEOPLE SUFFERED AN EARTHQUAKE BECAUSE THEY MADE PACT WITH DEVIL

"I put the hate in Haiti."

"TONIGHT SHOW" REAL ESTATE WON'T BE A TIME SHARE

"What have I done?... What have I done?... Oh yah, I screwed Conan..."

Shiah is "head-under-heels" for Raj.